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Drop the Ego

You know, I was just on the phone with a client of mine and we had an interesting conversation about how to deal with assholes. There is no other way to put it, right?

My client wanted to figure out how to get a particular asshole (“Mr. Asshole”) to like him. No matter how nice my client was to him, Mr. Asshole still acted like an asshole. That is, Mr. Asshole was still confrontational and disagreeable about almost everything. I told my client that an asshole is one because there is always shit coming out of their mouth.

There is no reason to befriend everybody. If you are nice to someone and they are an asshole to you or are just plain old rude to you, then you have done nothing to them to warrant their behavior. You’ve been nice, self-aware, non-confrontational, and you haven’t challenged them. You’ve killed them with kindness. Yet they still choose to be an asshole.

So what’s the point? You need to understand and accept the fact that you can’t make everybody like you and respond favorably to you.

The way I look at it is if someone is being an asshole, it’s really your ego that doesn’t like it. Your ego may not like that you can’t succeed in getting this person to think the way that you are thinking. Your ego may not like that you can’t get this person to respond favorably to you.

It’s also your ego that doesn’t allow you to just walk away from someone like this. If I have to deal with an asshole, then I will kill them with kindness during the one or two obligatory minutes I must spend talking to them. When I then walk away, I will just mutter “asshole” under my breath and walk away . . . because I just don’t care.

I don’t really care if somebody doesn’t like me or doesn’t respond favorably to me. All I care about is that I treat everyone with respect, kindness and integrity. That is the kind of person I am.

So if you are dealing with an asshole, you need to remember that it’s just your ego that is affected by them. Then drop the ego, and just walk away.

You know, it’s funny. Let me share with you a perfect story about needing to drop the ego. When I was recently in Hawaii, I surfed for four days. On three of those days I kicked ass – I got up on the board, I surfed and I had a great time.

I was there with my ex, Alison. She just started surfing not too long ago, but she’s already good at it. She’s one of those naturals. So on surfing day number four, I knew I felt a little stiff. I do yoga on a regular basis, so I went into a lot of yoga poses to try and unlock my body and get rid of some of the stiffness I was feeling.

I was still stiff after I did that though, and my intuition and my gut told me to just go out in the water and swim. Because I used to be a competitive swimmer as a kid and used to be a lifeguard, I should have just had a great time swimming the day away in the Pacific Ocean . . . but of course my ego wouldn’t allow that.

My ego made me get up on that surfboard because I wanted to surf one more day and because I wanted to prove that I could do a good job at it four days. So, what happened? My lower back jammed on my left hand side, and I spent the last couple days rehabilitating it.

By the time I post this blog, my back will be fine. The question is: Will I learn from my experience? That is, the next time will I trust my instincts and honor my body, or will I allow my ego to rule once again?

The analysis is no different when it comes down to dealing with assholes. You have to trust yourself. You have to be open, and you have to drop that ego. The more you keep that ego, the more hurt you will experience. So remember that not everyone is going to like you and you can’t catch every wave.

About the Author

http://www.davidwygant.com

Can a small dint in a surfboard be fixed?

I have got a new mick fanning model board and iv reacently taken it to queensland and i dont know if it got dameged on the flight or what but i got a small dint on the bottom of the deck and i want to know if it can be professionally fixed go to this website to see the pics: www.surfboardpicwebsite.piczo.com

Sounds like you are describing a pressure ding. If there are no cracks visible, it is probably still water tight, and more of a cosmetic problem than any thing. They are a pain to ‘fix’ because you would generally try to fill it up with resin so it’s even again, and then of course carefully sand it. Unless you see cracks or discoloration around it, best bet is to just live with it.

Any ding that leaks water is bad. Whether you have a EPS or PU foam core, trapped water will rot your board. With some cracks, you can suck on them, and see if you suck out a trace of salt water. Some, especially along the rails, you can squeeze, and see if you get bubbles or actual leakage. But in general, it hard to tell. I had a pressure ding on the bottom of my 6′4″ twin fin from around 1972 until about 1992. I finally got it glassed over, so it would look smooth when I stopped surfing on the board and put it up as a collectors item. However, years ago, my son had a Challenger (pure Chinese popout) that picked up some tiny little cracks around the glassed in fins, and in about a year, the tail was all waterlogged and de-laminating. So, a lot depends on the quality of the glass job. I guess you could say that non-penetrating cracks in a good board can go a while untended, but a crack or two in a popout can be fatal. It all depends on what manufacturer’s “Mick Fanning” model surfboard you have. DHD are real surfboards, and his Mick Fanning models are quality sticks. .(Your picture link didn’t work).

http://bp3.blogger.com/_hPACOtZKKko/RkSTwhvv9kI/AAAAAAAAAfg/QMqBFAtXzQ4/s1600-h/chinaboards.jpg

http://www.mckevlins.com/nopopstory.htm

In short, any ding that penetrates the outer coating (epoxy or poly ester) needs pretty rapid attention. A sticker can be a good temporary fix, but only so you can finish your session. Duct tape, leaks, and as much as it seems to fix everything else, it’s not the best choice for surfboard dings. And never stuff surf wax in a ding. It’s not going to make it water tight, and it makes life miserable for the ding man when he has to dig it ALL out to make the repair,

In almost 43 years of surfing, and dozens of surfboards, I have always found it best that if ‘in doubt’ about how serious any ding is, the best answer is take to the shop and let the ding man decide.

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